STOP TRYING TO SELL ME STUFF!!!

Gosh, it’s been a while since I “blogged”, and I really should update the current health/fitness/fasting news, however I just want to take yet another opportunity to have a good old whinge! 

I have mentioned on previous occasions my annoyance at having people invading MY personal space, and I get particularly annoyed when I am approached by someone trying to sell me something.  The local shopping centre is an absolute minefield, and my leisurely lunchtime stroll around the shops is ruined by these people waiting to pounce and waste my time in meaningless conversation.  I have very little time, and I don’t wish to spend my whole lunch hour saying “No thank-you”, or, even worse, having to justify why I am declining the wonderful product/service on offer.

My usual method of attempting to avoid them is to try and walk past them at exactly the same time as another pedestrian, with the other person, or people, in between me and the lurker.  I have perfected this technique, and it usually works when the lurkers are standing in one of the malls outside the shops.  It does, however, rely on the other person/people walking at the same speed as me and not deciding to try the veering technique to avoid the lurker, possibly crashing into me as they attempt to escape.  I have tried walking past staring straight ahead, with gritted teeth, and a “do not approach” look in my eye, but the lurkers are impervious to this and pounce gleefully.  They have skin as thick as a geriatric rhinosaurus, and once they have spoken to me, I am far too polite to just totally ignore them. 

It starts with a walk through M&S.  Their “Energy” man is always there, asking who your provider is.  “No thank-you” isn’t an appropriate answer to this question, and on a number of occasions I have found myself wasting precious time explaining to the man that I monitor my usage and use the price comparison websites to regularly review whether I am with the cheapest provider, and M&S obviously isn’t the cheapest as I would be with them by now, of my own choice, in my own time, etc, etc…  Avoidance is the only answer here, and I have identified the optimum route through the store for avoiding “Energy Man”.  Once out into the mall, I am at the mercy of a variety of different stands, each holding at least 1, and sometimes up to 4 or 5 people trying to force their products on me.  It starts with Sky (I daren’t stop or I will be forced to explain that, having finally managed to escape the clutches of the evil Sky, I am quite enjoying saving the £36 a month that I was paying Sky for the same channels that I can watch for free on Freeview and Freesat.)  There are two different Sky stands in the mall, so they are quite determined.  Once I have dodged the first Sky stand, it isn’t long before I am pounced on by the “Love Film” man.  His question is always “Do you watch movies”, to which my very short and truthful answer is “No”.  We very rarely actually sit down and watch a movie, and on the rare occasions when my son wishes to watch something other than the “Dave” Channel or CBBC, he can rent a movie on demand through a number of providers.  Following this quite small stand is a large stand where they wish to sell you kitchens/bedrooms/bathrooms.  The problem with it being such a long stand is that it is virtually impossible to get all the way past using any of my usual techniques.  Walking alongside other people doesn’t work, as they have plenty of time to manoeuvre round them to get to me.  A couple of loud “No thank-you”s, and I dive into TK Maxx, which is my usual point for switching sides of the shopping centre and changing direction (I can cut through TK Maxx to get to the other side, however I have to walk past the handbags which is never a good idea as I find it hard to walk past all the beautiful designs without stopping). 

Out the other side and the first stand where I am accosted is the pretzel stand.  I don’t mind this as they are usually giving out samples of tasty cinnamon pretzels, although I have to decline on my fasting days.  Shortly after this is the second “Sky” stand, which has to be avoided.  This side is often where the chuggers lurk, trying to appeal to my better nature and get me to sign up to make regular donations to their charity.  I have, in the past, fallen for this one, as it I don’t want to appear heartless and mean, however there has been a lot of adverse publicity recently about chuggers, so I no longer feel guilty about pointing out that I make donations to my chosen charities when I wish, and not when someone aks.  If I am feeling particularly cheeky, I point out that I don’t wish to donate to a charity that uses my donations to pay people to pounce on me in the high street.  All very well pointing these things out, but they waste precious time!

I think, however, that I have finally come up with a solution.  I usually walk up to the centre with my headphones on, listening to a podcast or some music on my phone.  Normally I take them out of my ears when I get to the centre, but I have found that if I walk around with them still in my ears (even if I have switched the sound off!), I am slightly less likely to be approached.  Also, if I am approached, then I can walk straight past without glancing at the lurker, pretending that I can’t hear because my music is too loud!