If I ran the country, I would stop persecuting poor motorists and turn my attention to the real menace in society – pedestrians! There are some really dreadful drivers out on the roads, but at some stage (in theory...) most of them have passed a driving test. This is not the case with pedestrians – the only training they get is when they are 12 months old and their loving parents are picking them up of the floor as they learn to walk.
The first rule I would implement is that all pedestrians who wish to walk in built-up areas such as busy pavements and shopping centres, or who wish to be able to visit anywhere there will be other pedestrians such shops, markets, shows, etc, would have to undergo Pedestrian Awareness (or PAT). This would be where the learn the rules of walking in public places:
· Rule 1: Pedestrians will, at all times, be aware of other traffic around them, paying particular attention to traffic that is ahead of them. The use of mobile phones whilst walking is permitted as long as a hands free device is employed and the pedestrian keeps both eyes on the path ahead. Mobile phone users who are caught tapping and staring at the phone whilst attempting to walk will receive a fine and 3 penalty points. Pedestrians who eat whilst walking will not be fined as long as they continue to be aware of the traffic ahead, however they may receive a warning for gross behaviour in a public place.
· Rule2: Pedestrians will proceed in an orderly straight line, keeping to the left of walkways in order to enable pedestrians moving in the opposite direction to pass. Pedestrians attempting to pass on the wrong side of the walkway will receive a fine and 3 penalty points. This will be doubled to 6 penalty points if the pedestrian is veering from side to side, preventing oncoming pedestrians from passing easily.
· Rule 3: When joining a major walkway from a minor one, such as a side road or shop doorway, pedestrians will stop and look in both directions before easing into the flow of traffic on the major walkway. Pedestrians caught charging out of shops straight into the path of other pedestrians will receive a fine and 3 penalty points .
· Rule 4: Pedestrians wishing to look in shop windows or who wish to view anything other than the path ahead are required to slowly pull in to the side of the walkway and come to a standstill before viewing commences. Any activity that involves taking the eyes off the path ahead will receive a fine and 3 penalty points – this covers, but is not restricted to, talking to companions, gawping at an attractive male/female walking the other way, spotting a nice pair of shoes in a shop window and trying to read the price tag whilst still in motion, or any other activities involving the turning of the head more than 30 degrees in either direction.
· Rule 5: Pedestrians will, at all times, ensure that the walkway is sufficiently clear for faster moving pedestrians to pass on the right. Pedestrians attempting to travel more than 2 abreast will receive a fine and 3 penalty points each.
· Rule 6: Extremely slow moving pedestrians must not use busy walkways at peak times. When they do, they must show respect for other pedestrians by walking at the very side of the walkway and pinning themselves up against a wall if necessary to enable other pedestrian traffic to pass.
· Rule 7: Pedestrians must give way to pedestrians with impeded movement, such as those in or pushing wheelchairs or pushchairs. Pedestrians in, or pushing wheelchairs or pushchairs should show similar respect and be sure to abide by the rules, especially rule 5. Any pedestrian caught ramming the wheeled vehicle they are pushing into the ankles of a pedestrian in front of them will receive a fine and 3 penalty points.
Following PAT training, pedestrians will be required to carry a pedestrian licence at all times when they are walking in public places. This licence will be revoked after 3 breaches of the rules, and the pedestrian would be required to undergo further training and examination before being allowed back on to the busy footpaths.
